Snakes, thanks for asking. I’ve been thinking about updating this thread. Things have been busy lately. Our family met up in Washington, D.C. for Father’s Day weekend and then my daughter, her fiancee and our grandson came back to Connecticut with us for an extended visit. They live and work in Guatemala City and were having trouble getting the paperwork straight to get married down there, so we had a whirlwind wedding here. It was fantastic! They were already a family, but this made it official. Her husband is Irish-born retired special forces and is a really great guy.
I hesitated to give an update before now because I had only had contact with fringe witnesses—either the mostly-inactive-over-the-years type who might not know about an announcement or the do-your-own-thing sort of JW. The one sister that I still see socially knows I am “inactive” with no plans of going back. She believes I am committing spiritual suicide by associating with my disfellowshipped son, but that it’s my choice. She says she has plenty of friends that aren’t witnesses. She suffers extreme cognitive dissonance, but that’s a whole other topic.
After a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago, I can definitively say that they did not announce my name from the platform. I spoke at length with a born-in full-time pioneer. (Actually, she is the one that turned my son in to the elders which led to his being DF'd!) She pleaded with me to “come back to Jehovah.” She thought I had been “stumbled.” I told her my decision to leave was an ethical one and that I disagree with certain organizational policies and procedures, both locally and at the Branch. I told her I didn’t want to go into that and risk damaging her faith in some way. (I honestly don’t think it is my place to openly “un-witness” to a staunch, believing witness. Unless they have doubts and are searching for answers, it won’t likely do any good and will only serve to reinforce their belief. This is not to say that I don’t try to plant seeds of doubt when appropriate.) Of course, she gave me the line that “men are imperfect” and pleaded some more. I told her that I love and miss “the friends”, but I am happy with my decision and my life and changed the topic to catching up like old friends.
It was interesting to me that this pioneer had been to her R.C. and didn’t feel a need to shun me because I’m “inactive.” We have only celebrated Christmas in Guatemala so far, and I have blocked all known JWs from my Facebook page, so maybe I haven’t been outed as an unbelieving “apostate” yet. No need to break the uneasy detente that is in place. I say uneasy, because even though I’m glad that I severed ties with the organization, I still get a kick in the gut when I have any interaction with former “friends.”
Last weekend I ran into a couple that my son and I were close to. In fact, they gave my son and then DIL their engagement party in their home. The husband is a long-time faded JW. His Dad and step mother walked away first, and then he faded. This all had happened before I walked away. The wife was quite cool to me when we first started chatting, but she warmed up by the end of the conversation. I did a little Facebook stalking and found out that she plays drums in a band with her hubby who is the lead singer. They play at local bars, fairs and farmers’ markets. I hoped that maybe she was out too, but she is still Facebook friends with elders, ministerial servants and pioneers, so she’s probably still in, but living her life the way she chooses. This couple is in their mid-thirties.
So that’s my update. It will be interesting to see how the local elders react should we meet. That hasn’t happened yet. Fortunately, all but one or two don’t live in the local “territory.” They have been imported to “assist” the local congregations. Ours is a small New England rural town with no real jobs, high housing costs and high taxes—not the sort of place that draws the average JW. Everyone is related to everyone else, and there is a lot of nepotism and in-fighting in and between the two local congregations, so the C.O.s are always sending in new blood. They have installed a revolving door at the KH! Fun times I so don’t miss!
Diane, aka Sail Away